Friday, 20 March 2009

NAUGHTY CORNER

Everybloggie. Over here. In the naughty corner. Don't much care. Gives me time to catch up with my reading. Been here most of the week for one thing. And then another.



See. Reckoned I needed to use up my terrible two's before they went out of date. Yep barked up a fair few this week. Bit like those "Buy One Get One Free" promotions that are on in all the shops.

Day 1. Barked for the squaries in the middle of the night to let me out for a pee. Are you thinking poor Eric? Don't worry. Peed on the floor while I was waiting.

Day 2. Launched my own promotion on the Kitchen floor. "Pee One do Second One Free" Think it will catch on? Deserves a Stains Award at least. (And serves Mom right for not cleaning the floor properly yesterday)

Day 3. Morning walk. Off my lead. Me and Mom cut through the Rugby Club fields to go home. Here's the entrance. Stretches alllllll the way back to the far trees and as big again to the right.



Now Dughallmoor Beagles pay attention!! You'd be wagging proud. Used my square snout and sniffed out ...guess what????? ....



No.Not this host of golden daffodils.



Nor these trees bursting with blossom on the edge of the field. (Can you see the blue skies peeping in?)



Found one of these!!! Boy oh boy my lucky day. A big dogalicious meaty bone. Made me wagging wonder what sort of games those Rugby boys play....

Now strange this. Soon as I found that bone Mom started a game of Chase Her. Course. Ignored her completely. But 'ppreciated the entertainments of her running and calling me all the loooooong while I was a-munching. Specially ohhh funny haa haaaa when one of her sooper dooper beloved wellies sprung a leek.( Did I mention the fields were Spa perfect? All wet and muddy?) Fifty bone chomping minutes later Mom called for back up. Daddy Square arrived armed with truckloads of cheese and a new squeakeee. P. L. Ease. As if. You know dogs, kitties and hammies. Take it from me. It's easy peasy to stay a tantalising inch or two out of arms and leggededs reach. And there's nothing like eatin' n teasin' at the same time. Once I finished my last lip smacking morsel I was at Mom's side to have my lead put on. Told me to come and I did. Didn't specify a time. Had things to do. Couldn't help being over 1hr and 20 minutes late. Haaaaaaa!!!!

Day 4. Chucked up in my crate. Barf full of bone. OK though. Manged to chow down most of it before Mom got to it. Yum. Double bubble. Delish. Yep. I'm getting good at this advertising malarkey. Another Eric promotion." Find One Barf One for Free"

Oopsie,nearly forgot. The winners of the Comic Relief big red noses. Crickey!!! Doesn't bear thinking about what somedoggies are going to be doing with them huge noses and the little extra nosey present. We want to see winners.... JOE AND TANNER. TULA. SCRUFFY LACIE STAN. MANGO THE MALTESE.

Got to wag on down now. Me, Eric Dastardly, needs to plan my next promotion.

32 comments:

Gus said...

Eric, you are a hoot! But I'll bet you are gonna get to know the time out corner rather well. Man, my favorite was the bit about finding the bone. Kinda reminds me of Teka and the toads. Muzzer runs around screaming "Drop it, Drop it!" About a hundred times later Teka finishes off the last toad foot and then looks at muzzer and upchucks. HraHraHraHraHra.....Oh I love that kind of humor.

Good luck

Gussie

Petey said...

Eric!

You might as well call the cable man and have the naughty corner wired for reception because you may have moved in there permanently!

Shame you couldn't get a photo of the steam coming out of Mommy Square's ears - probably enough to wilt those pretty flowers (oh, have I mentioned we had SNOW flurries here today? Sheesh!) Don't those 2-leggeds understand that "commands" are more "suggestions" to terriers?

I was looking for you at the Beagadoon premiere last night - figured you and Toffee had snuck out for a snog - but now I'm thinking you might have still been in the holding cell. No worries, it will be showing all weekend!

You're turning 3 in May, right? Don't know the date - you must tell!

Now about that bone...what's going on over there?! Isn't this the second mysterious bone you've found? Are you Eric the Crime dog?

Your pal,

Petey

P.S. I did a sympathy pee on the daybed yesterday. With the time difference, we may have been perfectly in sync!

Martha Basset said...

Hi Eric
Your pal Martha knows that trick! You know the one where you get them up out their bed and then you pee the floor!!
The bone incident was quite amusing mind although we noted you were then sick - did you notice what kind of bone it was!
Well we dont like to think of you being in the naughty corner.
You did have a nice walk though and that was cool that you sniffed out daffodils. Spring is Sprunging!
Try your best to be good Eric. Have a lovely wiry weekend.
love
Martha & Bailey xx

Asta said...

Eric
Who's the clevew boy then? hehehehe
Excellent jaunt!
Finding a bone..wunning fwee in the spwing flowews...and you did come back..and isn't it bettew to thwow up stuff that sticks, and then eat it when it's in a pwopew moosh fowm?
honestly these squawe pawents of ouws have no appweciation of the many wondewful talents of a squawe kid like you and me.
I think youw jail time was well wowf it..have a nice snooae and dweam of youw soggy mooshy fields.
smoochie kisses
ASTa

Joe Stains said...

Wow, and wow. I dunno if you get the stain award because I usually require evidence, but you are eligible for some kind of award. Maybe like HOLY COW THAT WAS SO AWESOME award?? Do they make that??? You totally deserve it.

Maggie and Mitch said...

Boy, did you ever have a heck of a day, Eric! Bummer that your mom didn't find the whole thing as amusing as we did! Do you need us to mail you more books?!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

tula said...

Eric, a 2 for 1 sale-- nice! You had a day to remembah-- and they thought cheese was going to work??!! That sounds like something my mom would do (she's from Wisconsin, kinda of a cheesehead). I don't know about your square parental unit, you have to do bettah than stinky cheese.

Wondering if that was some kind of shin bone from the Rugby field?!! A once in a blue moon thang.. you got to take advantage of it. Don't worry -- even though the evidence is piled up against you, we'll start a campaign:

Free Eric Square dog! free eric Square dog!


kisses, tula

PS> Woobadeedooo --moi? a winnah of a square red nose:) sooo honored. we'll email you.

Eric and Flynn said...

Wow Eric! What's with the bones? Are they missing a rugby player?
Good work with the floor peeing. That'll teach them to keep you waiting.

Rhonda said...

omdog WE WON!?!? Mom will send you our address!!

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Eric! Mate! You found treasure!! Our Beagley hearts are just swelling with pride for you dude....high fives!!
But we are sorry to hear it gave you sickies....do you want us to call for Nurse Aunt Bailey?

See that hand-dodging trick? Rosie's the master at that....she lets Mother get within a whisker of her and then she bolts, she's really good at it....then Mother starts effin an jeffin under her breath *sniggers* then she gets all high-pitched and runs the other way up the beach squealing and waving treats around like some sort of eejit, but Rosie still does her own thing...aren't humans entertaining? Yup, stoopid too!
Kudos and slobbers xx

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Oooh, also....another great trick....if you're going to be sick (or drop a bomb) in the house....do it behind a door, that's good for at least half an hour's entertainment!

Agatha and Archie said...

Woohoo hoo hee hee ha ha ha ha...wait a minute we have to wipe our eyes here...ah that's better..nope Archie is rolling again....We thought it couldn't get better after the double pee part....BUT IT ONLY GOT MUCH BETTER!!!!! Whoo boy the bone???what a find.. and you got to eat it twice too ..what a man...Hooo boy kind of like this morning when PL2 got dressed for work, went into the kitchen(where we were) in her socks, went to turn the light on......and stepped in something that Archie had done because he ate a sweet potatoe chip and had ahem alittle tummy trouble....She was a little miffed.....Oh dear I am starting again......Love hee hee hee A+A

Lorenza said...

Hi, Eric!
Reading all that I wonder for how long you are going to be in jail!
I hope you will be free this weekend!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Toffee said...

Wow Eric, my dear you have had a busy week!

Are you feeling better? Do you need me to lick your tummy?

Mom is super excited about all these "buy one get one" sales you are having over there! did the bone taste just as good the second time around?

Mango said...

Be careful, little square one, you can only play make the peoples chase you like fools for so long before they get all grouchy.

I find that things tend to travel down my large and gluttonous throat faster when I am being chased. Just save it for later like you did.

Slobbers,
Mango

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Eric my square savvy friend

Thanks for the tip on the terrible twos. I turn 2 in July and will have to make the most before it expires. Didn't the leggeds know that regurgitated bone bits is a delicacy? duh? Maybe if the bone had a red nose it wouldn't have been a big deal.

I think you may have a touch of spring fevah? No cure for that. I think you jail time will run concurrent with spring.

NOrwood

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Oh Eric...you mean you just randomly found a bone? Are you sure it was bovine?? Like did a cow just up and die on the rugby field? Wow...we don't have cows over here who play rugby...hmmm...so if it wasn't bovine, what the heck was it? You sure it wasn't one of the hooman rugby players? G R O S S!!!!!!

I dunno Eric...seems like you might need some of Asta's kitty friends to play CSI...scarry.....we're thinkin' that hole in ur mum's wellies didn't go over too well....they just HATE when their footsies get wet.

As for the buy one get one free...BRILLIANT, ERIC....

As for Lacie and her monkey farts...well...let's just say she set a Lakeland record for the GINORMITY of her um well evacuation this morning...like Mumsie need a wheelbarrow and a backhoe to um well remove it. Hmm...better run...Lac is comin' round the corner...about 6 pounds lighter...!!!!!

Pawslaps to you for your ingenuity!

Scruffman

Tee said...

BOL! Too bad your square leggedded don't appreciate your promotions ..

Looking forward to your next promotion!

Licks and Wags

Tuffy of Dog Woods

Sophie Brador said...

Eric! I found a dead squirrel today. You would have loved it. It was slightly smooshed too.

xo
SB

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

La a la la la!
I won! I won!
Never won any contest or prizes before!
I'll send my addy, I demand my prize sent overnight, k?
Oh just kidding.
Naughty corner? Is there a down pillow in your castle?

Chef said...

Eric, tell me they stepped in it getting out of bed!! I'm just picturing that and laughing my head off. Oh and don't forget to wire up the crate with internet cable. Looks like you might be laying low for a while and we want you blogging. That was a scary bone situation. What lifeform do you suppose it came from? You didn't grow antennas did you?

xox
Chef

Molly and Taffy said...

Eric

We are super impressed with that bone you found. Did you really eat it all???

Molly and Taffy

Stanislaw said...

That looks DELICIOUS!! I wonder what kind of feasting beast it came from..?

AND you got to enjoy it a second time! How fun! Sometimes those snacks are even better once you've added your own seasoning.

Bobby said...

What a bone how lucky, thank you for helping me in my campaign. Hope you are out of the naughty corner now.

Quincy said...

I don't have a "time out corner" but Madison's been pretty peeved at my behavior lately too. She thinks Mars must be in retrograde. Whatever that means.

Simba and Jazzi said...

Hope you enjoyed your weekend.

Simba and Jazzi xxx

Jake of Florida said...

Eric, old boy, old square dog pal -- we think you are the very model of a model wire fox terrier -- you have the foxiest funnest, naughtiest ways and make us others seem like wusses.

We loved your performance in Beagadoon -- and are trying to persuade Petey to give a Gilbert and Sullivan opawretta a go. You'd ba a very cool Pawrate King, for example!!!

Lots of wirey love. (And we think your ma is a saint.)

Jake and Just Harry

the 4 Bs said...

wow Eric, you made us chuckle out loud with your promotions. you are having a great time with this. lucky you to find that bone and get to chomp on it for so long and avoid being captured. you must be a true professional at this dastardly stuff. we are in awe of you.

woofs.

Sally G and Rufus said...

Eric Darling, you are soooo cool. I peed this week at the back door in the middle of the night. Then Momma let me out and found IT. Pappa got in trouble...haahaha for not getting up????
They are soooo consumed in who does what I can do whatever.
Momma thinks it will take a decade to understand me but her frequency is still on Aireheads. The boarder band is Terriers, dah.
Kisses from across the pond,
Sally G

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Eric,

I can't believe your mom loves mr. bizerko! My leg is twitching. Hmm you would think she loved that naughty boy rugby bone incident. Eric I think you know the wheelie wranglers soft spot now. Oh.. thanks for the ear scritchy scratch. Don't worry Mr. Bizerko appears frequently.

Norwood

William Tell said...

Wow! And my Mom thinks I deserve the time out room! You've taken it to a whole new level, pardner! hee HEE hee hee!!!

Happy Tails,
William Tell

Butchy and Snickers said...

Oh Eric,
You had Mama laughing her head off, hehehehehe! You silly boy. But now eating the bone the 2nd time around, that's kind of gross, eweeeeee! Hope you didn't catch any bacterias from it. Never know who's been walking out in that field, hehehe.
Luv & Wirey Hugs,
Butchy, Snickers, Ruby, Sylvester & Scuby