Monday, 30 March 2009

WAITING

Dog. I'm n nnn nervous. Makes me ss stu stut stutttterrr. Favour everybloggie. Check me out??? Make ssss s sure I'm looking okey dokey?? Got impawtant visitors visiting all the way from over the big pee. Toffee's Mmm mmmmom. Course my Tttt ttttoffee is coming too. But. Gulp. Not met her Mom before. First impressions cc cc ccount. Been busy while I'm waiting in the naughty corner.

Yeah. Back here again. Something to do with Mom baking home made eeetalian bread for friends coming over for dinner. And me practising levitation and telepathy skills once it came out of the oven. That bread plopped straight into my mouth. RESULT!!!! Some sort of miracle 'eh? Don't have photos. Of the look of horror on Mom's face when she discovered me munching on the bread minutes before our friends were due. Or the surprise on mine and hers when she screamed "leave it" And I did. But I'd guzzled down half of it already. No big deal. Stuffed to my lugholes by then. Didn't stop me from throwing up seconds later for double bubble. Or Mom, quick as a flash, wiping it up. Crying shame none of those were captured on film for your entertainments. And zippo of the bread being thrown in the bin in blind panic as Mom was saying many many many naughty words. By rights bloggies she should be in this corner not me.


Anyways. My preparations. Had a ...



Yep. Been scrub-a-dub dubbing .....



even my collar tidemark. . .



had a special spring strip too.



Even got a clean pair of heels...harharhar!!!!! In case I need to leggeded it .....



when Toffee's Mom finds out my sweetie's been doin' graffiti on the cars of Boston.



And tee heee!! Pee mailing me naughty photos of herself in PJ's!!!! Boy, I'm one lucky loved up pup.



Been barking at the magnolias trees to wait up a day or two to burst into blossom. Cos Toffee's Mom loves Spring flowers. Even ordered them skies to be blue and the sun to shine.

Ok. Come. Here. Cccc closer.Cccrikey sorry. Ss stutters back. Put your s ss snooter 'gainst the screen. Ready?? Check this...............



HUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH. Not got kittie log breath have I????



Donned my groovy collar. Hot from the NY dogwalks...



little me Eric sniffed it out on a shopping trip with best pal Petey's Mom and mine. In New Yawk. A Merry Car. Pawfect for this fashion hound. N nnnnearly ready.



Hot to fox trot??? Wait up. Nearly flippin' forgot...



my crowning glory!!!!! All done. Ready and waiting for the state visit. Bring it on!!!! VIP's. Be waiting here in the corner for you. In the meantime, I'm crossing my paws n
barking for my chum Jackson. He's feline a bit under the weather and waiting for test results. Could you do the same please? Ta.


33 comments:

Martha Basset said...

Hi Eric
Our mum didn't seem to need pictures for the first part of your story. She managed to giggle away imagining your mum's surprise at finding you eating the italian bread with visitors about to arrive!
The follow on chucking it up was just the icing on the cake. Well it would certainly have focused your mother. One minute she is thinking - no bread - next minute - vomit on the floor and visitors due.
We completely agree that if you mum said naughty words then she is certainly the one who should go to the naughty corner.
We feel she is partly responsible for leaving that tempting, fresh smelling bread within reach. Our Dad doesnt even make it home from the shops with fresh bread - it has bits missing where he started to eat it in the car!
And they expect you to resist - well done indeed for giving her back half of the bread. She could have trimmed up the edges and nobody would have been any the wiser!
May we say you look very well groomed in your pictures - we expect you will be smelling sweet. If you want to be a serious love interest however we suggest that next time you are out you look for something suitable to roll in.
Our mum's last basset once rolled in a used nappy he had found on the beach. The amonia smell was with him for weeks if not months. So far we have not surpassed that - any chance of a used nappy where you walk?
We will pop over and leave basset best wishes to your chum Jackson. We dont like to think of any poor dog waiting for test results!
Now stay out that naughty corner - at least you made it to New York!
love and kisses
Martha & Bailey xx

Jake of Florida said...

Oh fellow square dog -- we two have also been bitten by the love bug and so appreciate the ssssstutters. Sadly, no pawsonal visits are anticipated -- but virtual romance has its mmmmmomwents too.

We are in awe of your bread performance. Having just stopped by A+A's bloggie to read that they snarfed two PB+J sandwiches intended for their Dad's lunch, we are starting to feel as though something is seriously amiss in our behavior. JH took one stinkin' cracker from a pile Mom had left on the table a few days ago. But that's it.

What's a naughty corner for, if not for a square dog or two??? Keep up the good work -- and enjoy your visit with Toffee and her mom!!!

Do we need to send the Heron-cam over to get a ful report???

Wirey love, pal,

Jake and Just Harry

Gus said...

Eric:

Paws are crossed for Jackson pal...seems an habitual posture for one thing or another recently, right?

And we know you will be fine for the visit. You are lookin' really regal, and we smooshed muzzer's face into the screenie to check for (ahem) bad breath. No eeeuw sounds coming from her. No sounds at all, actually. Do you think Teka might have pushed too hard.

Gussie

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Oh Eric, you crack us up dude! What a result with the bread...and what a shame you didn't get to eat it second time round...tsk tsk, it's not good manners to waste food, you'll just have to be quicker next time!
I hope you struggled in that bath...at least a little bit....oh come on dawg, you're letting the side down, dogs are supposed to stink!
You do scrub up well though, your Sweetie Toffee won't be able to keep her paws off you...how cool that she sends you naughty pee-mail, she's a real goer...ooh-err!
Have fun, Your Royal Dogness and keep us posted on the state visit, so excited fur ya!
Slobbers xx

Asta said...

Eric my sweet fwiend.I'm sooo excited fow you , to have such impawtant visitows. Pwospective Moffew -in -law, heheh, no wondew you'we stuttewing. (I've met hew, and she's a peach, so no wowwies)

I loved seeing youget that bwead in my minds eye..I could pictoowe the whole thing, and I believe youw Mum desewves to be in the notty cownew fow those wowds. Aftew all, all you did was nouwish youwself fow the upcoming eventses, hehehe.

I didn't smell youw kittie woll bweaf..I thought you smelled pawfect, and you look a tweat! Youw collaw is so becoming(of couwse the owange is always flattewing and pawfect)
Have a wondewful time! Youw sky is blue , the flowews awe coming..you'we that most wondewful host
smoochie kisses
ASTa

Petey said...

Well done bestest pal! Certainly your Mum's friends will be grateful that you saved them from certain carbo overload and so close to swimsuit season (when Mommy goes into hibernation). I've met Toffee's Mommy already and she's a fine 2-legged - you have nothing to worry about as I already whispered some glowing words about you in her ear. That bath might have been for naught. Oh well. As for your breath, it's a bit yeasty from all that bread and chucking. Perhaps an extra-crispy KitKat log is in order?

You and Toffee looked so glamourous whirling and twirling and wig-wagging across the private garden. Good move(s)!

Your pal,

Petey

Ruby Bleu said...

Eric...
You look handsome...absolutely handsome!!! And your breath is pawfect!

I sure enjoyed that bread story...hee hee hee!

Good Luck! Lots of Licks, ruby

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Eric...you look pawsitively SMOKIN' HOT in those pix...if I didn't love Toffee so much I'd have to flirt with you...(Lacie looks down and flutters her big dark lashes furiously...and giggles..)

Hmm...the bread...yeppers that's an issue...our last foxie tried that once and Mumsie shoved her hand in his mouth to try and grab it...he um CLAMPED DOWN ON HER HAND and wouldn't let go...thankfully big sissy tossed another HOOGE CHUNK of bread at him...so he switched his allegiance to that...it was ugleeeee...the bread was destroyed. And eaten.

So Toffee and her mum are comin' to see ya????? OH ERIC!! I have the pawfect relaxin' smoothie to serve them to get the conversation "flowin'" to say the least...guaranteed to stop that stutterin' anyhow...

You'll be fine sweet Boy...we can't wait to see the pix of the meetin' and greetin'...

Barkin' at ya!!

Laciegirlie....XXOOXXOO

Life With Dogs said...

The crown was the perfect finish, too funny. Happy spring from Vermont :)

Bobby said...

Tempting you with nice new baked bread, how could you resist

Joe Stains said...

oh my you must be so incredibly nervous!! How can you stand it?! I sure hope it goes well, you do look wonderful!

Lorenza said...

Hi, Eric!
My mom can't stop laughing. She has a mental image of you with the bread!
Don't be nervous! Everything is going to be ok! They are going to love you in pawson!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

happy said...

Hi Eric! Sure have missed all your funny antics! You ate half a loaf of the bread? Can you teach me telepathy too?

You look great! I'm sure Toffee and mom would be most charmed by your handsome self!

TwoSpecialWires said...

Thanks for spreading the word about us! What a great group we've found ourselves welcomed into! We'll be great readers by the time we've checked out everyone's blogs time and again!

Lots to learn... lots of fun to have!
Thanks... a LOT!

Jake and Fergi

Simba and Jazzi said...

We don't understand humans. You only ate half the bread, what was wrong with the bit you left. Looks like you have gone to a lot of effort for the visit, enjoy.
Simba and Jazzi xx

Maggie and Mitch said...

There is nothing better than the smell of hot bread right out of the oven! You couldn't help yourself!
You are one handsome dude, Eric! You're going to make quite the impression! Relax - you have nothing to worry about!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Butchy and Snickers said...

Hey Eric,
You are so silly, hehehehe. We can just imagine your Mama's face when you were chomping down the bread. You look mighty fine for the visit. We can hardly wait to see the magnolia's bloom, our's here won't bloom until later April. Good luck!
Luv & Wirey Hugs,
Butchy, Snickers, Ruby, Sylvester & Scuby

Dewey Dewster said...

Gee Eric....

Knew ya was from royalty all along.....yep, that crown looks just right on top of yer foxy head....so yer honey and 'er P's are comin' ta visit.......wow, 'n Gram thought she was lucky gettin' ta go ta Florida....we love ta see yer pictures of good olde England as we know that we will never get across the Big Pee.....nope, never...

DId ya really eat yer Mom's freshly baked bread???? Now that woulda sent Gram ta the hospital fer sure....'n me too....well, maybe not me cause Gram always says that the Vets charge more than people doctors fer everythin'...so I fear she would have spared me the rod cause of that...

We're on our way home now.....stayin' in Brunswick, Georgia....'n we won't be home til Thursday.....2 more days in the car....lots more peemail ta smell along the way....and many places in several states ta leave our peemail so everyone knows we were here....sorry we haven't been around lately but we didn't have internet service in the house we were renting.....but we will get around ta visit everyone as soon as we can....and we aready checked out the new bloggin' wires....hope they're havin' the best of times in their new ferever home....

Dewey Dewster here....

Tee said...

Eric! We're very very impressed by your levitation and telepathy skills ... the chief's been baking and cooking too but all we get is smells. No chance to steal freshly baked yummies there. We'd pay you a gadzillion bones if you could just teach us how!

Am sure you made an approving impression with Toffee's mom.

On a more sombre note we hope Jackson gets better. Keeping our paws crossed for him.

Licks and Wags

TUffy & the Dog Woods Pack

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Hey there King of Lovers!

I think I smelled a lil kitty bark log on your breath from over here. But you are stunning in the fancy collar and crown. Lacey will have a squar-a-licous time. You certainly have the magic touch blooming flowers! naughty pj's, ! Beasty feast shopping trip!

You are the number one stunner!
Norwood

William Tell said...

Who needs pictures when you described it so well! hee hee!!! Wish I'd been there to see it though. Priceless!

You look great for your VIP's visit, don't worry. You'll wow 'em!

Happy Tails,
William Tell

Agatha and Archie said...

Our computer was on the fritz but we are back!!!! HEE HEEE glad you got ARchies message about how to get hte bread!!! And EXCELLENT that it was BEFORE the company!!1 Oh man that is great.....ARchie is rolling on the floor with laughter......You are looking SPIFFING so do tell all about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love and a squillion A+A

Sophie Brador said...

Eric! I can't believe that Toffee is swimming the ocean to visit you. I wish I had thought of that.

xo
SB

Stanislaw said...

I can almost smell your cleanliness through the screen. And that breath? Marvelous!

Why has no one told me about that beast shop? Why?

Judith A. Novak said...

Eric,
Thanks for posting on my blog. I'm just getting it started. My cousins are Jake and Fergi. Your blog is fantastic. What great pictures. I hope mine will be half as nice. Hope you don't mind, I added you to my list of blogs I follow.
Licks,
Zoe
http://snippetsfromawhippet.blogspot.com/

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Eric!
My goodness.. only a naughty boy would think I would knoc mom unconscious from a stick mishappening? Am I capable? Would i do that? Well... Mr. Bizerko takes over and I I I can't seem to remember .. things clearly. Actually mom is found of the fermented fruits in a glass and perhaps a bit unleveled due to the taste of libations. hee hee. Just jokes.. but I would like to drive home.

Norwood

Fenway said...

You da MAN, Eric. And real men smell goooood!

Oh how spiffy and fluffy you look for Sweet Toffee. You deserve that crown.

And stay away from those yeasty products!

Stay sweet smelling,
Fenway

the 4 Bs said...

hi Eric, that story about the bread is hilarious! it made us bark with joy! we're so proud of you for levitating that bread into your mouth. good job on throwing up too!

we can't wait to hear about your visit.

woofs.

Jackson said...

Hey pal, lookin' good for your important visitors! I don't think I've ever been that white.
Good work with the bread. Shame your humans didn't leave any peanut butter lying around too cos that would have just been the icing on the cake! J x

Jackson said...

PS thanks for your kind words of concern about me. Will keep you posted. J x

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