I got a new, well, thingy recently. Mom says it's my new bed as I can't sleep in my crate for ever now I'm all grown up. A dog bed? That thing? Mom, even I know that's a bean bag sort of cushion, not a bed. Want to see it?
Does that look like a dog bed to you? And see anything unusual,like er, no Eric lying on it? And the label - I'm pawsitively insulted! What's that mean? Does Mom think I can't read? Won't take offence? My feelings won't be hurt?
Wouldn't you find that doggone upsetting? It's so not true, I'm due for my summer strip haircut that's all.
I asked Mom to at least cut the label off. But NO, she won't. That set her off. "You have to understand the label is part of the design Eric, it's cool and sort of funny, plus the bed was very expensive . . . AND it's got a wipeable cover isn't that practical . . . do you know they make fab ones for 2 leggeds in all sorts of shapes with funky covers, I love the Marimekko one . . . and oooh, I've just remembered, there's even a little fatboy for kittiecats, ha, ha, now there's an idea, we could get a matching one for Otis, how cute would that be . . . what's wrong with it anyway? I can't understand why you don't like it Eric . . . stop being a sulky ungrateful boy . . . all the time and trouble I've gone to for you and if you think I'm going to give in just because . . . blah blah blah . . . her final words were "Eric, it's perfect, not like a normal boring dog bed at all and I really like it" WHAT?!!! Now you know why I'm sometimes Eric quirky.
You can tell what I was up against. Plus my ears needed a bit of a rest too. I had no choice but to give the fatboy a bit of a try out to see if it passed the Square Dog Safety and Comfort Test.
Now do I look safe and comfortable to you? Wooo, oooo, it's all doggly - flobbly - wibbly - wobbly. Hey you don't think, do you, it's me that's errr, fa . . . na, can't possibly be.
That's why I've got serious bed envy. Especially of my good pal Jackson with his terrific terrier tunnel bed. Even my matie Noah's bed looks like a proper dog bed instead of some designery beanybag labelled cushion for a skinny round dog. Yep, I'm back to snuggling with Mom on my blankie, on the sofa,then sleeping in my cosy crate at night. Until Mom's next crazy idea of a bed arrives.
Anyways, can't stop here blogging all day, got my new classes to go to. Someone called Jane is taking them. Don't want to be late.
Now tell me honestly, does my bum look big in this?