Friday, 22 October 2010

A PROBLEM PAGE

Dear Alpha Dog Agony Aunt.

Golly. Gosh. Never done this before. Have I the right doggie? HEEEEELLP MEEEEE. Got a problem. Of the terrier kind. Started so waggin' well and all.



See. My pals Scruffy n Stan in A Merry Car got the Royal Mail Servants to bring me their parcel.



Was this wicked stuffie. Along with that stupid fur collar for Miss Enid. Who's going to PAY. Better believe it. Anyways. Those boyz barked the stuffie sorta reminded them of their flakie Lakie Sissy.



Yeah. A dead ringer.Super scary with one evil pie. On purple.



The purple peeper sent me well over my wires. Difficult to imagine of this mellow chap I know. Here's the proof. Then. Not sure what came over my square self. Usually. Just kill their silly squeeky voices. And let them stuffies stay intacto. But this one. Got it.



Take a good goosey gander Agony Aunty. Them stuffies insides is usually white. Right? This purple devil had......what I can only describe as...LACIE COLOUR INNARDS.



SEE THE LACKIENESS???? (GET IT? SEE THE LAKIENESS... LIKENESS ?????? OOOHH HAAAAAAAAAA. My little play on words. Even made myself laugh with that one) GOBS of Lackieness. Popped right out of her purpleness. Gulp.



Reckon them PUFFS OF LACIE FLUFFF are the left overs from when Lacie had her secret LIP O BUTT ION operation on her big rear end??? (Not that it worked. P'haps you help her with that one Aunty) OR. Was it a Lacie lookielike devil? Which I've let loose. OOOO Heck. Hold up. Haven't clapped my pies on Lacie lately. Errr you don't think. She was stuffied in that little purple devil??? And I've done her in......



Do you?

Worried wags. From an anxious Eric. Waiting for your answer.

26 comments:

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I believe I heard the thumpin' of a furry large Mastiff tail -

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Noah the Airedale said...

Hiya Eric
Cripes I hope Lacie isnt stuffed in there...She'd be pretty cranky if she was.

Noah x

houndstooth said...

From what I've heard about Lacie, it seems like there'd be a bit too much of her to fit inside that purple peeper. I don't know her, just her reputation, so it's just speculation! I hope not, because I'd hate for you to be haunted by her ghost...

Bunny

Gus said...

Maybe that is just Lacie Fluff Stan and Scruff saved for when the times get Tough. And then they sent you just enough!

gussie n teka

Lorenza said...

Oh-oh!
I really don't know what to say!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Yikes! Bits of the LacieGirl inside your stuffie?? Very scary.
XX-BabyRD

BWahahahahha. Very good one Eric old fellow!!
WelshieHugs,
Hootie
PS-ABout my WelshFlag on the oil painting: Mommy put a special request in with MissAmi to add that.We sent a photo to her so she knew just what it looked like. We think of you all the time for your kindness in sending that to me.XXOO

TwoSpecialWires said...

Eric! Buddy! You sure that's not some of the fluff from the Fakey Lakie that just got stripped and refurred by Dr. Snitchenstein? Then got recycled in a green sort of way? That's a really cruel mean ugly joke, Eric, fooling you into thinking you'd just flossed your teeth and extended your beard with Lacie fluff. (We're not too concerned she stuffed herself ... or allowed her self to be stuffed) into that purple Cyclops. It's just not her style.)

Whatever, we suggest you flip that dismembered stuffie over. That yellow peeper gives us the creeps. Might even bring on nightmares tonight. Evil, it is.

Feeling bad for ya. Hope you're recovering by now. And reverting to your ways of simply squelching the squeaker. (Did it SOUND like Lacie?)
Jake and Fergi
xxoo

Dewey Dewster said...

I tell ya, Eric, there isn't any way that Lacie was stuffed in that stuffie....even though the stuffin' was the same color as the she-devil herself. But if that purple bugger was at our house, it would now be in the stuffie hospital waitin' ta get re-stuffed and sewn back up again so we could tear it up one last time before it got put back inta the hospital again only ta get repaired once more. We drive poor Gram nuts....but we know when the sewin' box comes out....we're gonna get an old friend back again.....yes siree......

Dewey Dewster here......

Valerie said...

yep. Nice to meet you. I am Valerie. I am rather famous in my own right. You look a little wild. but inviting you over to say hi. Don't be a stranger. I don't bite. but don't like trash. You look pretty cute though!!! My owner insisted on being a slacker about posting my thoughts but looks like we are back. So all is good !

Valerie said...

yep. Nice to meet you. I am Valerie. I am rather famous in my own right. You look a little wild. but inviting you over to say hi. Don't be a stranger. I don't bite. but don't like trash. You look pretty cute though!!! My owner insisted on being a slacker about posting my thoughts but looks like we are back. So all is good !

George the Lad said...

Blimmy Eric!!! you sure went to town on the stuffie, maybe its her way of sending a little peice of her across the pond, for you to smell!!!(not very nice if its the butt end!!)
Me thinks you better make sure there no smaller foreign bodys in there like fleas!!!!
See Yea George xxx

Mango said...

I am surprised that made it through customs. Clearly it was stuffed with a hazardous substance! Lacie fat! Ew! What a cruel trick. I hope there are no toxic side effects.

Slobbers,
Mango

Bouncing Bertie said...

Oh Uncle Eric, I do hope that wasn't Lacie in there, that would be too horrid.
Now I am still learning with this toy business and am deeply embarrassed to admit that I have not yet succeeded in destuffing a stuffy (although I hasten to add that I have managed to do plenty of damage to other objects around the house..). You couldn't possibly, could you, give me a few tips on the best approach to successful and efficient destuffing? I really would appreciate your advice...
Toodle pip!
Your loving nephew Bertie.

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

My Dear Boy,

This is Alpha Dog Agony Aunt...

(How the hell I got that name I dunno...but I digress...)

I have several suggestions for you...

First, go and rinse with Listerine.....that stuffy was filled with ESTROGEN...and you um ingested it....HAHAHAHAHAHA er Oh, Dear.

Secondly,

Find a needle and thread and replace all of those bootiful Lakie locks back into that demonic, but attractive, stuffie...

It's October...do you really wanna chance not putting her BACK TOGETHER?

Next,

For an act of contrition, I suggest you make a visit to a certain esteemed Wheelie in your home...perhaps taking her a posie as a symbol of your respect.

Lastly,

YOU CAN TAKE BACK ALL THE MEAN THINGS YOU'VE SAID ABOUT MY BUTT...

ER, of course I mean perhaps it'd be best not to be so sharped tongued my dear...

I beleive the expression is

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND?

I'm just sayin'...

If you need any more advice, just text...

Miss Alpha Dog Agony Aunt Girlie

Asta said...

Dawling Ewic
Feaw not...that wasNOT Lacie(she was safely pawtying in the meatpacking distwict aftew flying in on hew bwoom and cwashing thwoo my window which I fowgot to leave o[en fow hew) it was indeed the stuff that was taken out in hew latest opewation in puwsoot of booty and yooth..honestly, why doesn't she wealize she is aweady bootiful.. anyway..don't loose any sneep ovew this deew Ewic..it was a puwple twick
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Martha and Bailey said...

Dearest Eric,

Of course Lacie was not in the purple stuffie...........although you should certainly not have destuffed such a lovely present.

You have been having bad thoughts about Lacie and you have been saying mean things.

We agree with Lacie - you have to make amends and we concur with her suggestion about the posy for Miss Enid.

Remember Miss Enid is herself a sort of a stuffie.

She will no doubt be feeling very threatened by now - your remark about making her pay was sinister in the extreme.

We suggest you start retaking your 'nice' pills and we will see you again next week.

We do so hope for an improvement in your condition by then.

yours
Martha and Bailey xxx

tula said...

Okay, thanx fur the warning E.. watch out fur those purple evil peepers. nevah know what's lurking inside! yikes! umm.. maybe send the leftovahs to the mango.

just sayin.
tula

Agatha and Archie said...

Uhhhh darling boy, Listen we have to talk.. listen there are some things that you just don't share... WITH EVERYONE.. especially IF THAT PERSON IS GOING TO READ IT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING??? SHE READS ALL OF THIS STUFF.. AND AGATHA IS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS AND NOW I AM GOING TO GET IT( proxy my boy....) ohh boy you are in a HEAP of trouble I fear.. Love Arch

Agatha and Archie said...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? YOU PRINTED THIS?? AND NOW SHE IS GOING TO READ IT??? ARE YOU NUTS?? HAVE THOSE WHEELIES DONE SOMETHING TO YOU?? I would lay low for awhile little buddy.... Ags

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Yo Eric, boy...

Lacie seems to be spending a lot of time in her crate thinking....and giggling...and rolling her eyes...and giggling some more sayin' things like...JUST YOU WAIT, MASTER ERIC, JUST YOU WAIT....in this Elizaish sort accent...not pretty...

We may haft go and look for that stuffie again here...but we think they sold out of them really fast...would probably be a collector's item and worth the crown jewels if it were in one piece...but I'm just sayin'...

I'd watch your back,Man, I'm just sayin'...

There's nuthin' pretty bout a Lakie plottin' REVENGE.

Pawslaps,

Scruffman

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Of course there is something pretty about me plotting revenge...

I'm adorable after all...

bbes tribe said...

A masterful job of destuffing a stuffy if we do say so. Watch out for that one BIG eye though. It could be watching you.
Wags
Ernie,Sasha,Chica

happy said...

Hiya Eric! That's one nice little purple stuffie. Erm...don't think Lacie can fit in there, can she?

autumnsblogspot said...

BOL!! Eric you did her in...and good!!

There did seem to be a bit of Lackiness inside...not sure on that one. There was some resemblance!!
hehe

Oh by the way..my walkie went well. We raised some funds to help protect all the lovely pups in the State of Missouri from a life of horrible hell. But the next part will be on election day Nov 2. when the folks in Missouri vote. That will be the finally decision. It's call Prop B and if it passes it will help regulate the Puppy-mills in that State and help treat us 4-leggeds with care and non abuse.

Cross your paws!

<>
your un-Square-Cousin

Bruce said...

You taught that stuffie a lesson Eric! Remind me not to get too close.
Happy Halloween...hope you've got your costume ready!
your cat pal,
Bruce:)
p.s. thank you so much for your comforting words about Michelle. They meant a lot to us.

Asta said...

Sweet Ewic, my pawfect squawe fwiend

I hope even if you don't celebwate Howleyween thewe, that you and Otis get tons of tweats!!1
I wish you could come to ouw wun pawty wif us at least opw stop by Gwacies
smoochie kisses
ASTA